Matt Hazard

When was the last time you had a face-to-face conversation with a friend who’s active on Facebook but don’t talk to regularly? How did that conversation go? Did you find that you knew just about everything they had to say that was ‘new’ in their lives? Yeah, I’ve been there too.

It’s almost like social media has given us powers loosely akin to that of the Shining, in the sense that we can peer into our friends’ livelihood and get a general idea of what their lives look like. And I use the term friend loosely.

There was a time when social protocols were in place that encouraged calling out oversharing, like when Stacey from spin class details the date she had with the instructor, or when Pete from the office talks too much about which foods give him gas.

Sure, social media may not be as graphic (usually). Still, the constant need to share every insignificant, mundane detail of one’s life with the internet has left very little to be explored in actual conversation. I’m half convinced this is what put those infomercial tele-psychics out of business.

Conversations used to start off with something simple like, “So what have you been up to?”, which could result in some meaningful dialogue. Conversations with Facebook friends rarely need such an opener, allowing you to jump directly into whatever political debate is relevant, because you already know exactly what they’ve been up to, what their kids have been up to, and what their dogs have gotten into. Their lives are wrapped in detailed posts and packaged together with photographic proof, out on display for the world to see.

I realize I’m probably coming across a little cynical, and of course not everybody is as invested in their online presence as others, but sometimes it’s hard to move past the thought that basic in-person human connection is becoming less and less relevant. With apps like Facebook, Instagram and TikTok acting like the all-seeing Eye of Sauron, it’s easier to peer into someone’s life rather than reach out and talk.

On the other hand, this could just be another hot take from an elder millennial who watched the internet grow from IRC chatrooms at a time when the internet was used for sharing knowledge into an advertisement-filled, commercialized designer facade. My olive branch is this – I’m getting older, less relevant in the face of youth, and still have no idea what 6-7 means. Maybe I’m aging into my “that isn’t music!” phase of life, and if that’s the case, I should start drafting an apology letter to my parents. So, as a grandfather of the internet, I’ll admit that it’s passed my bedtime and I’ll see myself out. Right after I’m finished doom-scrolling…