Matt Hazard

Yeah. You read that correctly. And I agree, when you say it out loud the words echo insanity, but hear me out.

The Backstory

Growing up, liquor was always my ‘bad habit’. I didn’t smoke, I wasn’t into drugs, and I was way too nerdy to be out causing a ruckus at all hours of the night. Booze was my goto, because I truly didn’t know how bad it was for my health.

As a trades guy, I grew into my blue collar status by tumbling head-first into the electrical field at the young age of 20. Everyone I worked with both smoked and drank – it sort of just fit the occupational perception like a white hardhat on a foreman. Naturally, I took kindly to beers after work with the guys.

It wasn’t until the last few years that the studies have come out explaining how terrible liquor is for your health. Or at least, that’s when I took notice. The pandemic really spiked booze sales, people began over-consuming, and then the illnesses and deaths became a lot more public.

My doctor used to say “Don’t drink more than ten drinks a week or you’re considered an alcoholic”, and ended up with the Canadian Cancer Society saying “Actually any alcoholic amount is bad, but if you’re going to partake, don’t have more than two a week”. Alright, I’m paraphrasing, but still. Good lord. Crunching the numbers reveals that I’ve already consumed enough for the next few lifetimes. This news really hit home, upgrading my healthy fear of mortality into low level anxiety. And that’s when I formulated a plan to offset my habits.

The Plan

Since Canada health officials were setting a damning recommendation of no more than two drinks a week, I set a goal of an annual limit of no more than two a week on average. Let’s do the math.

Two beers a week, fifty two weeks in a year – that’s one hundred and four drinks to consume averaged out over the year span to my liking. Provided I don’t exceed the 104 limit, I’ve fulfilled the CCSA annual recommendation. Sort of.

Yeah, I know, I’m bending the rules. Breaking them, if you must. However I’m an optimist and I feel that this is at the very least a starting point to curb the already bad habit of over consumption that I’ve been doing for the last 20+ years.

How It’s Going

So far, so good. It’s March and I’ve refrained thus far.

Honest talk – I don’t expect anyone to follow this framework. It’s insane, crazy, and a little nuts. All I’m attempting to do is take a bad habit and fold it into a slightly better one. And hopefully after this year is over, the Friday ritual of stopping at the vendor on the way home from work is broken. But that’s a next year goal, right now I’ve got a stockpile of saved up drinking days to use.

This aligns well with the upcoming St Patricks Day where I fully intend on playing catch-up. It’ll be pinkies up with a six pack of Amsterdam’s finest and a pizza while the Advil and water bottles get laid out for whatever Tuesday brings.

Wrap Up

There really are two ways to look at this – using this unorthodox method you’ve set up an environment that allows for binge drinking (this is bad), but then allows for weeks, sometimes months between a single drop of liquor (this is good). Or you can be slightly more rational and understand that this is a desperate Hail Mary attempt to curb a decades long habit that smothers perpetual weekly drinking, while at the same time still encourages drunken debauchery. My doctor told me years ago the dangers of binge drinking, but the real danger fell mostly on repetition of a drinking cycle. Limiting the intake to an annual average of two per week effectively eliminates this danger. Or that’s what I keep telling myself.

I should also note that the American Health Association does indeed allow for a lot more than two drinks a week, but if we’re comparing Canadian beer to American beer…well, the proof is in the pudding.