Matt Hazard

OK, so hate may be a bit of a strong word, but screw it.  I’m totally in a state of hate.  Allow me to paint you a bit of a picture so one can visualize the crap I’m dealing with on a +30C day.

Apart from the tiny “portable” AC I have that cools only one of the many rooms in my house, I do not have central air conditioning.  Adding to that, I’m working on a job site that is comparable to the devil’s oven.  Seriously, my favourite part of the day is coming home and taking my pants off.  That’s not normal, even for me.

Now normally, like most bachelors, on laundry day I take everything out of the washing machine and hang it up for two days to dry because I haven’t fixed the dryer since it broke last November.  This means there’s a two day window between washing and wearing my favourite shirt or pair of pants, making folding day critical.  When I fold my clothes on folding day – which is term I’ve created just now – I throw my dryed clothes on my bed to fold and put them away.  Bear with me, there actually is a point here.  Somewhere.

However, even my damn sleeping arrangements have had to be altered because of this heat wave.  My bed is now pulled off the bed frame and thrown onto  the floor of the aptly named Beat Lab, which is the room that houses my small, sad portable AC unit.  What does this mean?  Not only would it be a turn off for women to see a man with a mattress on his floor, but you guessed it…I’m no longer able to fold my laundry on my bed, as I can’t open the door wide enough to get the laundry basket in because the damn mattress is in the way.  And heaven forbid I fold on an empty bed frame.  I don’t like change.

Look, I know all of you non ghetto folk who have central air in their homes, goto work in a nice air conditioned cubical all day, and come home to clothes properly dried in a fully functional dryer simply adore summer.  Well I’ve had my summer fill.  I’ve had two weeks vacation in it, along with a golf trip and multiple cabin trips.  I’m done.  Over.  Finito.  With fall comes hockey, hot tub parties, better fishing season, and cooler weather.  Natures air conditioner.  Oh, crap.  And winter.  Totally forgot about the -35C temperatures winter brings.  Whatever.  I’ll blog about that bridge when I cross it.