It’s my brothers wedding day. Mom is well into her third glass of wine. I make a comment about how beautiful the bride and groom make as a couple, and mom decides to start parenting me. She makes mention of a girl I’d dated last November and how its too bad that she didn’t like me as much as I had liked her. I retort by asking mom if she’s a certified doctor, qualified to reopen old wounds. Mom laughs and finishes her wine, and I take a shot whatever was directly in front of me. I tell my mom not to worry about me and I leave the table, smiling a little to myself. Why? Because I know the reality of being a single male in his early 30s. And because I know better.
The reality is, the girl from November is just one of many that didn’t work out in the grand scheme of dating and relationships. I’ve dated a bunch since, and every one has the same turn out – either we just don’t mesh, or I decide they’re not exactly what I’m looking for in a relationship and it ends.
Now I must be clear, none of this is the girls fault. This is what happens to A LOT of guys in their early 30s, and I think I’ve figured out why.
Most girls in their 20s are looking for older guys. That’s safe to assume as fact. Therefore you’ll see a lot of 21 and 22 year olds with men in their late 20s, and sometimes even early 30s. And hey, hats off to those dudes, but when you want something more than a late night club partner, the young girls usually aren’t going to make the cut.
Consequently, the girls in their late 20s have the same mindset as girls in their early 30s – they want older guys. Women in their early 30s are usually NOT looking for a guy their own age. Why would they? If they’re in their early 30s and single, it’s because some immature men they’ve dated in their past wrecked any hope for any other decent dude who comes their way. These women want men, or at least what they interpret as men – guys in their late 30s early 40s. This leaves the 30 year old man virtually SOL, unless we want to go back to the 22 year olds in the loud clubs who don’t want to commit. Sigh.
So what can we do?
Simply put, nothing. Go out, have fun with your single buddies. Have guys nights out. See how much beer you can drink in a weekend fishing, then try to beat that record. Enjoy growing facial hair that your male companions think is awesome, but no woman would ever appreciate. I for one shaved my face into that of Wolverine. I’ve been rocking the Hugh Jackman for half a week now, and I regret nothing.
Gentlemen, there is hope! All you have to do, is turn 35. Statistically speaking, you’re now of age old enough to date a girl who’s 29 going on 30, and be that older mature man she’s looking for. Just remember to act mature, as she’s now at that stage in her life where she hates ‘boys’ and men her own age. Oh, and don’t forget to shave your horribly amazing beard. That’s only allowed until the age of 34. I’ve got another few years ahead of me, personally. I’m good.
I know now what I want in a woman. It’s simple really, just two solid qualities. A girl with a great personality, coupled with confidence. Women, confidence is key. Men love that. It’s probably the most attractive quality a woman can possess. However, I’m still only 30. I still have four years to wait until I qualify to date such a woman. Thank God I turn 31 this September. Tick toc.
In the end you can’t blame the 22 year olds for not wanting a decently serious relationship with anyone over the age of 30. It’s just near impossible to work out. Also we can’t be upset with the 31 or 32 year old who doesn’t want to date us. Our fellow man wrecked that opportunity for us flat out.
Until the golden age of 35, gents, all we can do is enjoy the single life. Or fling it up with the younger crowd. Whatever floats your boat. Personally, I’m cool with the single life for another few years. I know some of you may want to challenge my views, or even choose not to accept it. Thats fine. I don’t make the rules. Its just…well…science.
Matt Hazard 
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