Who’d have thought I’d ever be returning to school at the age of 30 after falling into a career 9 years ago? Certainly not this guy, but alas here I am again, set to walk the hallowed halls of Red River College. OK, so it’s not that amazing – just a night course twice a week until June and I’ll have one of four courses completed for Cisco certification. Oh, that doesn’t mean anything to you? No worries, it doesn’t really mean anything to me either actually. The sole purpose of returning to college is to acquire a piece of paper that says my work has to pay me more money for doing a lot less work, so I can’t really complain. Alternatively, it means I’ll be spending less time on the tools as an electrician and more time in the office programming security systems. Although I will missing getting down and dirty on the tools, I’ve already devised a plan to maintain manliness in other ways. Beer chugging contests to follow.
This must end..
This is the “gorgeous” view from the top of the hospital I was working at the other day, installing a new security camera. Where the view is nice on the rooftop of a 5 storey building, coupled with the comfort of knowing if I fall off I’ll go straight through the glass of the atrium and land on an operating table, the picture does not do this scene justice – what you CAN’T see is the -30C temperature and the howling wind. This is a prime example of crap at work that I’m not going to miss. Sure summer weather would make such jobs bliss, but rarely do they send you on a comforting rooftop adventure on a lovely July afternoon and instead deploy you into damp cold crawlspaces to pull wire. So long installations, hello homework.
The Old Office
What you’re looking at is my mobile office…on wheels. Sure that’s redundant to say but so is driving an old beaten down van that has died on me several times whilst out of town, let alone in the city. If the second door would actually open up you’d have a better idea of how cluttered and disarrayed the status of the van is. Sure it’s “my responsibility” to keep it clean and organized, and “my duty” to take it in for regular maintenance. To that I say, bah. Technicalities.
So I’ve been informed once all my schooling is over, I’ll be virtually pulled out of the field as an electrician and migrate over into the office as a security programmer, setting up systems and computer hardware to monitor “solutions” we sell to clients. Whoa, that was an awkward mouthful. I don’t like sounding all technical, nor do I enjoy speaking it as it usually leaves people confused and its terrible with the ladies. I’d much rather clean out my mouth with a glass of scotch and say this – I’m going to be paid more money for doing less manual labour, and I’ll seem smart to people solely based on a job title. This, I can handle.
Ironically, 10 years ago I actually used to be a computer nerd and rarely found sunlight. Since then, I’ve become a born-again country boy who’d rather spend all his time playing in the great outdoors and chasing girls. Even though I’m right out of the technology loop, I still remember how to do it all. Getting down and dirty has always been fun for me, and I’ll be damned if I don’t maintain an outdoorsy lifestyle slugging beers and fishing every other weekend this summer – when I’m not golfing and running that is.
Matt Hazard 
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