Matt Hazard

Yes.  You read that correctly.  This is an actual brand of cereal that I came across today while shopping for crap to make for dinner.  So, naturally while searching for crap, I found just that.  Holy Crap cereal, the ‘dragons blend’.  What probably more interesting about this little gem is the instructions to prepare it…  It calls for a teaspoon of almond extract, some (heated) milk, yogourt, granola, and whatever fruit of ‘your choice’.  Right on the package it claims to be free of gluten and sugar, its vegan, and for all you people out there who love Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song, its also kosher.  Well holy crap!  I think the only ingredients actually IN this package are the instructions on what to put in the bowl.  Seriously, with all the stuff this baby calls for as “additives” you’ve already got yourself a full breakfast.  Just missing the bacon.  Unless you’re Adam Sandler, then its only missing the…schmaltz.  Obviously I had to buy this.

Zombies?  Nope not here..

Well, if I was ever afraid of a zombie apocalypse, there is where I would hide.  Yup, under this flowery bed with all of these beautiful firearms.  My buddy had a few of us over the other week and was over excited to show us all his guns.  What made it even more exciting is the fact he was holding a beer with an eerie smile plastered across his face as he pulled each one out of the safe.  No, none were loaded and the ammo was safely locked up so we couldn’t stage a mini war even if we wanted to…but hot damn did it ever get me pumped up for pump action shotguns.  Seriously, after looking at this impressive collection – and handling a couple – I’ve decided to get my firearms licence.  You know…for zombie prevention reasons.  Yeah.